Losing Chasing Flowers

It’s been a tough last two years. I chased my dreams and had some good wins, and lots of losses. My ignorance led me to many mistakes, one of them was bad accounting and falling into a massive tax debt. Another was to try to build alone, for too long, and burn myself to build something too selfishly. I’ve been told that my project name was stupid and that I was seeking hubris instead of impact. Point taken, I’m going back to the drawing board and I’m starting everything from scratch.

I had many doubts while I spent countless hours building something only a few would believe in, sadly it was not enough to rally any kind of sustainability. Here I am now, at the cusp of rebirth for myself, and my projects. I feel that I finally connected some of the dots, and I need to continue doing so.

And now, I moved away from what used to be my home to seek some quiet, peace, and creative focus. But even though the financial and business loss was very stressful, it was nothing compared to the pain of losing people during this new transition. Folks I spent most of my time with, loved, and had faith in. Sadly, I need to let them go for now, because it seems that they had let me go a little while ago anyway. But it’s ok. Maybe one day faith will reunite us and we will forgive each other.

And yet, there is nothing like the rejuvenating power of new friendships. In my new home, which slowly starts to feel like one, I share the laughter, enthusiasm, and energy of my new friends. I can feel a slow, soft power, one that grows like a plant, and maybe will bloom like a flower and die, or bear fruits and make us stronger. We will pay attention when the tide goes down, we will be ready, for we grow old and become less ignorant of the world.

Now, a new environment is helping me clear my head, and most importantly my heart, to focus on what is important for me, what makes me happy, and what I can deliver with less resistance and more flow.